So my knees are fine, doctor said im healthy and what not. So my parents divorce is really taking a heavy toll on me, not as in im crying and emotionally its just the house situation. I'm pretty much taking care of the house by myself, so now if my mom gets it re-financed ill be paying the house payment, the internet and the lights..ect...
So now for the good shit i guess. Im just bored with everything. I have recently started up playing magic again, its fun, but i feel like people never try out anything different. Its the same old tatics with the people i play with, not so for all of them, just a couple regualar people i play with do the same old shit everytime, and it gets kinda annoying when your the only target out of 4 people since they think i win all the time. Which i sometimes do but theres been times when i have lost, hell my uncle beats me all the time, and my friend brandon beat me the other day.
I'm actually contemplating about moving some where far away from all this bull shit, all the drama, all the just stupid shit that pisses me off hardcore. Im not sombody that just wants to sit around and watch tv, i want to go for walks, i want to go for swims, hell id be okay just walking around the park for a couple hours just to get out and do something. I shouldnt be this bored with my life at the age of 20, I just shouldnt. I really dont have much of a drive to do anything rigt now, becuase nothing even looks appealing to do.
I don't know whats wrong with me. I feel like im losing all my friends. Nobody texts or calls just to say hey alan whats up, its always hey i need this or are we doing this or something else along those lines, sometimes i just want to feel appreciated, is that to much to ask? Apprently it is..lol..I also hate my job, theres no respect at that place, theres no senority theres only, hey your my fave you get to get away with eveything, you know i just dont know what to do anymore, I don't like putting my shit on people becuase i feel like im being a burdern, and when i keep everything in, i just know im going to explode, i just dont feel like being around anybody, that sounds horrible, but i just dont feel like i care enough about anybody to be with anybody, so it's hard to go to anybody with problems. That and i hate hearing im sorry, i just cant stand hearing those fucking words, that just irritates me to the bitter end. >.< I'm sorry wont make me feel better and it wont fix shit, so just dont say it, that and people being like oh well your telling me all this but i have no input because im a dumb person that cant think of something logically to say.
But its like 12:27 so im wrapping this up, ill probally post something else tomorrow about my shitty life at the moment. but for now....
Rememeber to eat your oppents heart so you can gain there rich, tasty courage.
-alan-
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